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Dr. Joseph White, Author and Speaker
Sharing Catholic Faith
Blog
Experiencing Lent at Every Age
Posted on March 6, 2019 at 6:13 AM |
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In the Catholic Church, Lent is a very special season of “getting ready.” We are called during this time to make ourselves ready to celebrate the greatest mystery of our faith – the death, burial and resurrection of our Lord Jesus Christ. Because this mystery is so central to our faith, it’s important that this special time of year be accessible to Catholics of all ages. Lent is also a time when we are called to stop and allow the Christian mystery to touch our daily lives once again. It’s easy for us to get into our everyday routines and forget that Christianity is not just about what we do on Sunday mornings, but how we live each moment. Nowhere is this more important than at home with our family- the domestic Church.A proper experience of Lent in the home depends upon the ages and developmental levels of each family member, but centers around three basic Christian practices – prayer, fasting, and almsgiving. The following is an age-by-age guide to celebrating Lent at home: Preschool-age children (0-5): Prayer: This is a good time to renew our commitment to daily family prayer. We know that we should prayer together regularly as a family, but we often let our hectic schedules get in the way of regular family prayer. For preschool-age children, short and simple prayers are best. Because prayer is conversation with God, we want children to understand what they are praying and meanwhat they pray. The sign of the cross and other short simple prayers are a good start for children this age. We also want to assist them in praying in their own words. Creating a simple family altar with a few sacred items such as a crucifix (nothing too gory for children this age), a candle and a few other sacred objects can provide a focal point for family prayer where children can visit each day and say, “I love you, Jesus.” Fasting: Preschool-age children are not required to fast, but they might benefit from the experience of the transition between scaled-down family meals and celebrations during Lent and the more festive season of Easter. Use Lent as a time to plan more simple meals and family activities – for example, a soup and salad dinner and family game night, versus dinner at a restaurant and a family outing. Almsgiving: Because children this age are very concrete and need to experience something to understand it well, the meaning of giving money can sometimes be lost on them (and besides, they can’t do much to earn money anyway). For this reason, simple acts of service like visiting a home-bound family member or drawing pictures for a teacher or family friend can help the preschooler have some experience of giving to others. Elementary School age children (6-12): Prayer: A mealtime prayer or Scripture can help children this age experience this aspect of Lent. Allowing children a turn to lead the family in prayer can be a good way to engage children. Many parishes and dioceses distribute Lenten prayers for before and after meals, and others are available online. Fasting: While fasting is not a requirement for children this age, it is good for them to begin to experience “giving something up” for the good of someone else. For example, a child who usually gets candy or s treat when shopping or going out to eat can be encouraged to forego that special treat and donate the money to the poor (or put it in a Lenten offering box). Almsgiving: Parents may wish to consider offering children this age odd jobs they can use to earn extra money to donate tot he poor. Or better yet, children could use their earnings to purchase canned goods to donate to local food pantries, many of which experience decreased donations during this season of the year. Teens (ages 13-18): Prayer: Encourage teens to keep a prayer journal during Lent, either in written form, or online (e.g., a Facebook entry with one thing they are thankful for each day of Lent). Parents might also wish to encourage teens to take a leadership role in preparing prayer experiences for the family. Also, consider attending Stations of the Cross on Fridays of Lent. Fasting: Teens ages 14 and older are now of the age when they are asked to abstain from meat on Ash Wednesday, Good Friday, and all the Fridays of Lent. While teens are not required until age 18 to fast on Ash Wednesday and Good Friday, they can still particpate in the Lenten tradition of fasting during these 40 days by denying themselves something they might otherwise have during this season. Encourage your teen to think creatively, and to give up something that truly is a sacrifice, and also to make a commitment they can uphold. Self- sacrifice is sometimes frowned upon in contemporary popular culture, but the self-discipline that is gained by practicing delay of gratification is a valuable asset in achieving most anything worthwhile. Almsgiving: Encourage your teen to put aside a portion of his or her allowance (or earnings for a part- time job) to a charity or cause about which he or she feels passionate. Teens are also sometimes able to volunteer their time and talents to assist others. Depending on your teen’s interests and abilities, a gift of service would be another way to experience this season. No matter what our age, Lent is an important time to re-focus, to prepare to grow in new ways as we experience the message and meaning of our Faith. May God bless you and your family as you keep this important season in the life of our Church. |
Happy Feast Day of St. Therese!
Posted on October 1, 2018 at 10:41 AM |
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The Art of Accompaniment in Faith Formation
Posted on June 10, 2018 at 8:37 AM |
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The following is the text of my talk at the NCCL breakfast on June 1, 2018. Good Morning. In The Joy of the Gospel, Pope Francis
says, and I quote: The
Church will have to initiate everyone – priests, religious and laity – into
this “art of accompaniment” which teaches us to remove our sandals before the
sacred ground of the other. The pace of this accompaniment must be steady and
reassuring, reflecting our closeness and our compassionate gaze which also
heals, liberates and encourages growth in the Christian life. In the ministry
of faith formation, this “art of accompaniment” is essential. If we want to
accompany others along the road of faith, we must resist the temptation to call
out to them, saying, “Hey what are you doing way over there. Get over here with
us.” It is far more effective to go to the other, meet them where they are on
the journey and say, “May I walk beside you?” To do this
takes humility. We must understand that God has the same love for each and
every one of us. God loves each of us with a full, passionate and unselfish
love. In fact, Pope Francis says, God’s love for us is the only bond that
unites all of humanity – the one thing each of us has in common with the other. Accompaniment
requires listening with empathy and reflection. In today’s hectic and noisy
world, too often we fail to take time with one another, to listen without
worrying about what we will say next. Accompaniment means sitting with
the other, listening to the words they speak and reflecting on the feelings
behind the words. It means recognizing what a gift we are being given when
others trust us with their stories. To accompany
others, we must get in touch with the joy and good humor that comes from
openness to God’s grace. Pope Francis cautions us against “a defeatism which
turns us into querulous and disillusioned pessimists, ‘sourpusses’.” The word
he uses in Spanish is “caras de vinaigre” or “vinegar faces.” I think
that image says it all. Pope Francis begins every day by praying St. Thomas More’s
“Prayer for Good Humor.” It goes like this: Grant
me, O Lord, good digestion, and also something to digest.
Grant me a healthy body, and the necessary good humor to maintain it.
Grant me a simple soul that knows to treasure all that is good
and that doesn’t frighten easily at the sight of evil,
but rather finds the means to put things back in their place.
Give me a soul that knows not boredom, grumblings, sighs and laments,
nor excess of stress, because of that obstructing thing called “I.”
Grant me, O Lord, a sense of good humor.
Allow me the grace to be able to take a joke to discover in life a bit of joy,
and to be able to share it with others. Finally,
accompaniment takes courage. The courage to step outside of ourselves. The
courage to encounter and accept differences. Pope Francis says that differences
are uncomfortable for us because differences make us grow. We will experience
some growing pains when we embrace the art of accompaniment. But unless we are
willing to grow, we will never become the people God made us to be – the Church
God calls us to be. |
Helping Children Understand the Mystery and Meaning of Jesus' Death and Resurrection
Posted on March 30, 2018 at 1:44 PM |
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The mystery of Jesus’ death and resurrection
is central to our faith, and as Catholics, we experience it at every age. Children grow in their ability to understand the Easter story. When children are young, it's best to avoid too much blood and violence in images or
videos depicting the Crucifixion. Too many details about Jesus’ passion can
be overwhelming and scary for children this age, and we don’t want them to
become overly-focused on the more morbid details. Rather, we want them to know
Jesus as a loving, and powerful friend who is also God. When discussing Jesus’
suffering and death with children this age, we can say, “Even though Jesus was
very kind and good, there were some people who didn’t like him. They were mean
and hurt Jesus, and he died. But that wasn’t the end of the story. Because
Jesus was God’s Son, he could even beat death. He came back and saw his friends
again before going to his father in heaven.” Young children can experience a
simplified version of the Stations of the Cross, as long as they have some
developmentally appropriate way to experience this devotion — for example, a
child’s guidebook. It’s important to keep the Resurrection in mind and foreshadow
this, even as we are talking with kids about Jesus’ death, to continually
reassure them that this story had a happy ending.
As children grow, older kids and teens can handle a little
more information about the Good Friday story, because they are better able to
understand the context. A more traditional version of the Stations of the Cross
and similar depictions of Jesus’ suffering are appropriate for this age group,
particularly if we can relate Jesus’ own suffering back to our everyday lives.
It’s important that children know that doing good sometimes involves sacrifice
and suffering. But God is with us and understands suffering because he became a
human being who suffered also. And the Resurrection teaches us that, with God,
there is an Easter Sunday for every Good Friday. |
Experiencing Lent at Every Age: A Developmental Guide to Lenten Practices
Posted on February 14, 2018 at 4:31 PM |
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If you would like to download a reproducible pdf-version of this article, click here. In the Catholic Church, Lent is a very special season of “getting ready.” We are called during this time to make ourselves ready to celebrate the greatest mystery of our faith – the death, burial and resurrection of our Lord Jesus Christ. Because this mystery is so central to our faith, it’s important that this special time of year be accessible to Catholics of all ages. Lent is also a time when we are called to stop and allow the Christian mystery to touch our daily lives once again. It’s easy for us to get into our everyday routines and forget that Christianity is not just about what we do on Sunday mornings, but how we live each moment. Nowhere is this more important than at home with our family- the domestic Church. A proper experience of Lent in the home depends upon the ages and developmental levels of each family member, but centers around three basic Christian practices – prayer, fasting, and almsgiving. The following is an age-by-age guide to celebrating Lent at home: Preschool-age children (0-5): Prayer: This is a good time to renew our commitment to daily family prayer. We know that we should prayer together regularly as a family, but we often let our hectic schedules get in the way of regular family prayer. For preschool-age children, short and simple prayers are best. Because prayer is conversation with God, we want children to understand what they are praying and mean what they pray. The sign of the cross and other short simple prayers are a good start for children this age. We also want to assist them in praying in their own words. Creating a simple family altar with a few sacred items such as a crucifix (nothing too gory for children this age), a candle and a few other sacred objects can provide a focal point for family prayer where children can visit each day and say, “I love you, Jesus.” Fasting: Preschool-age children are not required to fast, but they might benefit from the experience of the transition between scaled-down family meals and celebrations during Lent and the more festive season of Easter. Use Lent as a time to plan more simple meals and family activities – for example, a soup and salad dinner and family game night, versus dinner at a restaurant and a family outing. Almsgiving: Because children this age are very concrete and need to experience something to understand it well, the meaning of giving money can sometimes be lost on them (and besides, they can’t do much to earn money anyway). For this reason, simple acts of service like visiting a home-bound family member or drawing pictures for a teacher or family friend can help the preschooler have some experience of giving to others. Elementary School age children (6-12): Prayer: A mealtime prayer or Scripture can help children this age experience this aspect of Lent. Allowing children a turn to lead the family in prayer can be a good way to engage children. Many parishes and dioceses distribute Lenten prayers for before and after meals, and others are available online. Fasting: While fasting is not a requirement for children this age, it is good for them to begin to experience “giving something up” for the good of someone else. For example, a child who usually gets candy or s treat when shopping or going out to eat can be encouraged to forego that special treat and donate the money to the poor (or put it in a Lenten offering box). Almsgiving: Parents may wish to consider offering children this age odd jobs they can use to earn extra money to donate tot he poor. Or better yet, children could use their earnings to purchase canned goods to donate to local food pantries, many of which experience decreased donations during this season of the year. Teens (13-18): Prayer: Encourage teens to keep a prayer journal during Lent, either in written form, or online (e.g., a Facebook entry with one thing they are thankful for each day of Lent). Parents might also wish to encourage teens to take a leadership role in preparing prayer experiences for the family. Also, consider attending Stations of the Cross on Fridays of Lent. Fasting: Teens ages 14 and up have reached the age in which they are asked to abstain from meat on Ash Wednesday, Good Friday, and all Fridays of Lent. Those 18 and older are also asked to fast on Ash Wednesday and Good Friday. In addition to these disciplines, encourage your teen to think creatively, and to give up something that truly is a sacrifice, and also to make a commitment they can uphold. Self-sacrifice is sometimes frowned upon in contemporary popular culture, but the self-discipline that is gained by practicing delay of gratification is a valuable asset in achieving most anything worthwhile. Almsgiving: Encourage your teen to put aside a portion of his or her allowance (or earnings for a part-time job) to a charity or cause about which he or she feels passionate. Teens are also sometimes able to volunteer their time and talents to assist others. Depending on your teen’s interests and abilities, a gift of service would be another way to experience this season. No matter what our age, Lent is an important time to re-focus, to prepare to grow in new ways as we experience the message and meaning of our Faith. May God bless you and your family as you keep this important season in the life of our Church. |
Helping Learners Embrace the Fullness of Catholic Social Teaching
Posted on January 12, 2018 at 4:01 PM |
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Catholic social teaching transcends the boundaries of politics and
secular ideologies. In today's very politically-polarized environment,
how can we form children and teens to proclaim and live the beauty of
our Catholic faith, from caring for all Creation to defending the life
and dignity of the human person? In the video below, I address these
questions with 5 practical ways to form learners who live the faith. If
you would like an outline for the video, click here:
http://www.sharingcatholicfaith.com#file-not-found"ctrl-7226862"> |
For DREs: A Fresh Start in Faith Formation
Posted on January 12, 2018 at 3:48 PM |
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As the culture around us focuses on resolutions for the New
Year, let us pause to consider ways we can make a mid-year “fresh start” in our
catechetical ministry. The work of a catechetical leader is never done. (In
fact, I’ve heard some people joke that DRE stands for “directly responsible for
everything!) Starting new initiatives are difficult in the fall when
catechetical leaders are busy with so many beginning of the year details.
Consider doing something different, beginning in January. Here are a few
suggestions: 1.
Engage your parish staff in a weekly prayer
meeting or a study series. This might be a good time to plan for a staff study
of a book during the weeks of Lent. Or perhaps you could agree to meet at 3 pm
every Friday to recite the Chaplet of Divine Mercy. 2.
Plan a new gathering for families in the coming
calendar year. Perhaps this could be a one-time event around your parish patron
saint’s feast day or on another occasion in the Church calendar. Or perhaps you
could host a potluck of religious education families. 3.
Reflect on one way you could “dive deeper” in
your own faith life. We cannot share with others what we do not have. How can
you grow in this new year in your own faith life – perhaps through reading a
good book, taking a theology class, or spending more time in prayer? Don’t try to tackle everything at
once, but use this new year to do just one thing that’s different. A fresh
start can give us new results and a renewed spirit! |
A Catholic Insider's Guide to Paris
Posted on August 24, 2017 at 10:07 AM |
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The City of Lights is a delight for many, but especially for Catholics. Here are my tips to seeing the sights: A word about the Metro – Take the Metro. It’s fast and efficient, and taxis will cost you a fortune in Paris. All you need to know is that when you get on, the direction is named by the final stop in that direction, so for example, you are either taking the line 4 in the direction of Place de Clingancourt (north) or in the (south) direction of Mairie de Montrouge. If you find that you got on going the wrong direction, simply get off and cross to the other side and you’ll be going the right way. So to find something on the Metro, just look first at the stop you want to get to, and then the last stop in the direction you need to go. Go to the side of the Metro station that is labeled with that last stop in the direction you need to go. When you see the lines cross on the map, that’s where you can transfer to another line. Also, French people aren’t really rude or snooty. It’s just that Americans don’t know the basics of French manners. When going to a shop, you always greet the shopkeeper when you enter (“Bonjour”) and say goodbye when you leave (“Au Revoir” – that’s pronounced like “Oh Ruh-VWAH”). You would never just ask them where something is without saying hello first. Otherwise you haven’t acknowledged their personhood (That’s a Catholic value for sure.) Most people speak some English, but will act like they don’t sometimes if you assume. Be a little apologetic (It’s THEIR country after all.) And if you can start with a Bonjour, that will go a long way. Say, Excuse me (“Pardonnez Moi” pronounced like “ParDUNnay mwah”) and then ask if they speak English – bonus points if you can ask that in French: “Parlez-vous Anglais?” pronounced like, “Parlay vu ongLAY.” Two things about restaurants – First, sodas are VERY expensive (up to 7 or 8 euros, and that’s closer to 8 or 9 dollars)! That’s because the French don’t think sodas go with meals – except at the fast food places like McDonalds or Quik. I recommend water or wine – both will be cheaper. Second, the French consider it rude to bring you the check too soon. It’s like they are rushing you out – and the French come to restaurants to relax and talk. That’s why it seems like the service it poor, they never bring you the check, etc. You have to ask. Just flag them down and say, “L’addition si vous plait!" Now the sights: Eiffel Tower: There is a Metro stop called Bir-Hakim/Tour Eiffel that is near the Eiffel Tower. You will be tempted to go to that stop to see the tower, but DON’T. The best approach to the Eiffel Tower is from the Trocadero stop, because this stop overlooks the river and the tower from a balcony (very popular view at sunset). As you approach the tower from there, it’s spectacular, because of the reflecting pool and the constant view of the tower. Watch your wallet – always keep it in your front pocket. Be especially careful on the Eiffel tower elevator when people are in close quarters. Notre Dame: Notre Dame is on an island in the middle of the city (called “Ile de la Cite”). It’s easily accessible on the Metro (take the Cite stop). It’s worth going up in the tower if you can brave the line. Go early if you want to do that. But the best time to go to Notre Dame is for their sung Vespers. It’s amazing, with beautiful singing and incense – the whole works. Also, it’s good to see Notre Dame at night when it’s lit up. It’s spectacular. Nearby on a side street you will find the entrance to the Latin Quarter – lots of little restaurants and cafes that really come to life at night. Sacre Coeur: This is the Basilica on the hill – without a doubt my favorite site in Paris. This church has had the longest running perpetual adoration in history – since the 1800s. If you are there on a Sunday, go to the Sunday evening Mass. It’s amazing and easily the best Mass in Paris. Lots of people and lots of energy! Also, it’s amazing to see the giant monstrance lowered from the ceiling over the altar just after Mass for the continuation of Perpetual adoration. Be sure to stay for that!. The balcony outside Sacre Coeur is the best place to see and photograph the whole city. It has an amazing view. Take the Funiculaire (a train that goes up a hill, sort of like a skyride on the ground) up to the balcony (If you get a 5 or 7-day City Pass tourist Metro ticket, it will work for that also.) The Abbesses stop is the one to take for this. At the bottom of the hill, watch out for young men who have some kind of string trick they want you to see. This may be a pickpocket ruse. They are harmless, but don’t give them any attention. Just say, “No, Merci” and walk around them. Chapel of the Miraculous Medal and the body of St. Vincent de Paul: You will definitely want to see where Mary appeared to St. Catherine Laboure and asked for the Miraculous Medal to be struck. The chair Mary appeared in is to the right of the Altar in the Chapel of the Miraculous Medal (near the Vanneau Metro stop – Sevres/Babylone is also not too far. The street is Rue de Bac, but the Rue de Bac stop is a long walk from the two chapels). Also at the Miraculous Medal chapel is the body of St. Catherine Laboure under glass – pretty amazing! Right around the corner (nearer to the Vanneau stop) is the Vincentian house, where in their chapel you can see the body of St. Vincent de Paul – looks like a wax statue, but that’s really him just over the altar. ) Approach the altar on the left side and you can walk up some steps behind the altar and see St. Vincent up close. Again, pretty amazing! There’s a Pauline Bookstore near both of these things where you can get French versions of Catholic Holy Cards, etc. The Miraculous Medal chapel gift shop also has great stuff. One of the sisters there will bless the religious articles for you if you ask. Church of the Madeleine: Take the Metro to the Madeleine stop to see the Church of the Madeleine (that’s Magdalene in French). This is the oldest church in Paris and is pretty darn amazing, but what’s even better (and completely unknown to most tourists) is that the thigh bone of St. Mary Magdalene is behind glass up high to the right of the altar. If you can’t find it, ask someone. This is the place where they are most likely to have an English-speaking priest. The priest who showed us was from Dallas. To the right as you face the church is a side street. About a block or so away is a dessert café called Fauchon. YOU MUST TRY SOMETHING AT FAUCHON OR YOU HAVE NOT EXPERIENCED THE GLORY OF PARISIEN DESSERTS! If you are there at sunset, you will notice that sitting on the steps of the Church of the Madeleine at sunset is a popular activity, because the lights of the city twinkle in a wonderful way, and you can see forever. Musee d’Orsay: I recommend getting advance tickets for this. Yes, I know people always think of the Louvre, but if you like French Impressionism (Van Gogh, Monet, Cezanne, Degas), the Louvre is not your museum. Musee d’Orsay is your museum. Easy to find on the Metro – just take the Musee d’Orsay stop! The street vendors nearby sell very good sandwiches on fresh baguettes – another inexpensive option for lunch. Musee de l’Orangerie: If you like Water Lilies by Monet, the biggest one is here. It will take your breath away. This museum is located in a nice little park called the Jardin de Tuileries (look for the Tuileries stop). Disneyland Paris: You can also take the Metro out to Disneyland, and if you have a free day, I recommend it. Yes,if you live in the United States, you might be closer to the original, but this is not the original. Disneyland Paris is just outside the city and is 1/3 THE SIZE OF PARIS (yep, hard to believe, but true. This park is spectacular for its gardens and the way they have really done up the rides and features, including a castle you can go inside.) Arc de Triomphe/Champs Elysees: You’ll want to see both of these, of course, and luckily, they are next to each other. Take the Charles de Gaule/Etoile Metro stop. Be sure to get a ticket and take the elevator to the top of the arch. That’s the best part and a great view! Finally, don’t get so caught up in doing the things on the list that you fail to take the time to walk around, sit at a café or stand at a balcony and take it all in. Paris is an amazing city. Have a great time! |
My Talk from the Convocation of Catholic Leaders
Posted on July 7, 2017 at 4:51 PM |
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This past week, I was honored to have the opportunity to speak as part of a breakout session at the Convocation of Catholic Leaders. The breakout session was titled, "The Silent Voices: Reaching Out to the Victims of Violence, Abuse and Trafficking." Here is the full text of my remarks: My name is Joseph White. I am a
clinical psychologist specializing in work with children and families and a
National Catechetical Consultant with Our Sunday Visitor. I am passionate about this topic
because of the number of children and families I have worked with affected by
abuse and violence. I have seen the deep pain that abuse and violence brings in
the lives of everyday families. Because I am known as a Catholic psychologist
in my community, many of the families referred to me are Catholic. I see that
abuse and violence affect families who are active in our parishes, as well as
others in our community. In addition, I
have worked with survivors of human trafficking, both in the United States and
in Southeast Asia. I have witnessed the deep and all-encompassing wounds that
come from treating people as commodities. This is an issue that touches at the
very core of our Catholic understanding of the dignity of the human person. Violence and abuse are widespread
problems in society as a whole, and this touches many people in our parishes
and communities as well. For example, estimates suggest that up to one out of
every 3 to 4 females and one out of every 5 to 6 males are victims of sexual
abuse.
There are psychological and spiritual correlates of abuse that are intertwined,
such as feelings of hopelessness, doubts that God exists, and at times, doubts
that the Christian community cares or is able to provide help or support. This
is especially true when the violence and abuse we know is so widespread in our
society is not openly discussed in our Catholic communities.
As Pope Francis states in The Joy of the Gospel (24), "the Church which
'goes forth' is a community of missionary disciples who take the first step,
who are involved and supportive."
What does it mean for us a Church to "take the first step," when it
comes to survivors of abuse and violence? It means finding creative ways to
meet two primary needs of these survivors -- the need for appropriate
professional services and the need for a supportive social community. What
systems are in place to refer survivors of abuse and violence to qualified
trauma-informed professionals? It is important to keep in mind that trauma is a
specialty, and professionals providing services to survivors should be well
trained in the core trauma competencies identified by experts as necessary for
effective treatment. “Trauma-informed interventions,” as defined by the Centers
for Disease Control, are those that “are delivered in a way that is influenced
by knowledge and understanding of how trauma impacts a survivor’s life and
experiences long term.” Access to services for persons of diverse cultural,
linguistic, and socio-economic backgrounds should also be key considerations.
In addition, there is a need for connecting people who have perpetrated abuse
to appropriate services in order to help them find healing and break the cycle
of abuse.
Mental health researchers have identified social support as one of the most
important factors in mental health and an essential part of resiliency for
survivors of trauma. For example, a 2017 Centers for Disease Control Guide to
Preventing Domestic Violence emphasizes the importance of social support and
community resources in mitigating long-term negative health consequences for
survivors of intimate partner violence. In The Joy of the Gospel (46-49), Pope
Francis speaks of the Church as a "mother with an open heart." Do
survivors of abuse and violence find in our parishes a welcoming and supportive
community that is willing to accompany them? A community that affirms their
dignity and allows them to discover and share their gifts as well as having
their needs met? How might we strive to make our communities more welcoming of
people with diverse, and often difficult past experiences? How can we welcome
survivors of abuse and violence as fellow sojourners in need of healing and
grace, as we all are? Pope Francis, echoing Pope John Paul's "spirituality
of communion," speaks of accompaniment as the proper disposition of
missionary disciples. Rather than talking a patronizing approach of simply
"doing for" others, we are called to "walk with" others and
share their experiences, their hopes and fears, their sufferings and their
joys. In this way, we truly love one another as Jesus has loved us. |
Prayer, Penance, Fasting, Almsgiving: A Family Guide to Lent
Posted on March 7, 2017 at 2:24 PM |
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Lent is a season
in which we pause to examine our lives in preparation for Holy Week, when we
will join in Christ’s journey to the cross and share in the victory of his
resurrection. It is also a good time for families as well to re-orient
themselves and consider the priorities that sometimes get lost in the business
of everyday life. Let's examine four traditional themes of Lent (prayer,
penance, fasting and almsgiving) and offer some ways to share in these themes
as a family: Prayer: The forty days of Lent remind
us of Jesus’ forty days in the desert, which he spent in prayer to God as he
prepared for his public ministry (Catechism
of the Catholic Church, 540). Lent is an excellent time to re-commit to
family prayer. One possibility is to have a time each day in which the family
gathers and each member says something to God, followed by a traditional prayer
such as the Our Father. You might wish to consider the “forms of prayer”
discussed in the Catechism (2644;
blessing, petition, intercession, thanksgiving, and praise) as a starting
point. For example, if you choose thanksgiving, everyone in the family would
name something they wish to thank God for, and after each prayer, the family
could respond, “Thank you, God.” If you choose “petition,” each member in the
family could pray for a need, and the family could respond (as in the Mass),
“Lord, hear our prayer.” If possible, choose a special area of your home for
prayer, decorate it with some religious articles such as a crucifix, religious
statues, etc., and light a candle when prayer time begins. Penance: Lent is traditionally a time
ofPenance and Reconciliation in the
Church. If your parish has a communal Penance service, it might be good to
attend as a family, even if your child is not quite old enough to celebrate the
sacrament. For family members who have had their first confession, it’s a good
opportunity to celebrate God’s gift of forgiveness once again, and recommit our
lives to him. It makes a strong impression on children to see their parents and
other adults go to confession, and this is one of the few times they can
actually see it in action. Seeing mom and dad acknowledge their own
shortcomings and God’s place in their life is a powerful sign that their really
is a God and that all of us are called to follow him. It is also a great
reminder that God loves us no matter what. Make this also a season to practice
a spirit of reconciliation in the family. Are their wrongs that need to be
discussed and forgiven? Model this for your children and encourage them to
follow your example with siblings and others. Fasting: Fasting on Ash Wednesday and
Holy Thursday are not required for young children, but it’s good even for elementary
school-age kids to have an opportunity to make a small sacrifice (“give up
something”) at this time. Doing so can help the young child gain delay of gratification and self-control skills,
which psychological research shows are closely related to success in work and
relationships. In short, fasting builds our self-discipline. Encourage younger
children to choose something they can do without for Lent. (It should be
something they enjoy – no giving up broccoli if that’s not a favorite food!)
Perhaps a particular TV program or toy would be appropriate. Explain that we
choose to give up something we like during Lent so we can remember how Jesus
gave his whole life for us, and also to help us grow in self-control. Almsgiving: Lent is a timeto make a special effort to give our
time, talent, and treasure. Food pantries that serve the poor are often sorely
in need of restocking at this time, so perhaps the family can choose some
canned goods and other non-perishables to give away (again, give some of the
good stuff as well). Perhaps the children and teens in the family can set aside
some money they would have used to buy candy or other non-essentials, and
donate this to Catholic Relief Services or some other charity. Also, consider
what the family may be able to do together to serve the parish or community.
Volunteer to stuff the bulletins at your parish, or stay after Mass to help
tidy up. Go on a “neighborhood cleanup,” taking a trash bag and collecting
litter from the sidewalks, streets or local park. Lent is a wonderful time to
experience family renewal as we prepare to celebrate the great fifty of Easter.
May God bless you and your family during this special season. |
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